To all my fellow young moms here are some lessons/ advice I've learned so far. (mother at 18)
1. Nothing you plan in advance will turn out exactly the way you plan when it deals with children. They run this! Don't be fooled. Live a little spontaneous when need be. It is okay to make schedules and routines, its just not the end of the world if it doesn't go according to plan!
2. People are gonna judge, especially people your age. They will call you a bad mom, a slut, and many more. Let them we made a choice to give up being young and chose to live for our kids the best way we can. They are not mistakes, but blessings so never be ashamed.
3. You still have every right to go out and be young every once in awhile. A break from going insane and our children deserve a break as well! Just don't make it too regular as your child deserves your time as well.
4. Patience is a virtue! This crazy saying is true. All though i feel you never quite gain any, you must learn how to handle things differently then screaming at your child. Your kid is throwing a fit in the middle of a store, but not harming their self? Let them ignore them and continue your trip, but always keep 1 eye on them. They refuse to eat anything other then chicken? Let them more then likely its just a phase and they'll get sick of it. A child under 2 will always test your patience its important to always remember to choose your battles. Not everything is life and death. Find an ant I stress or that works for you walks, video games, yoga, bathes, Mani/pedis, even work!
5. As new moms with newborns don't stress over everything. I will make mistakes and you will cry and cry, but the thing is they will NOT remember it. You will get frustrated heck your sleep deprived! Take a couple min to yourself and its okay to let your baby cry as long as they are not in harm. Walk outside and scream like a maniac haha your neighbors will think your crazy, but hey you'll feel better.
6. Guess what girlies? Its not about you, your boyfriends, fiances, husbands, or baby daddies anymore. Its about your baby and their needs. Fighting all the time just stresses everyone out. So don't worry about every little thing your s/o does or doesn't do. Just be the best mom YOU can be, they don't want to be apart of it their loss. Also if your not with them and they do want to be apart of your baby's life let them. Nobody will replace their daddies let them choose at a right age if they don't want to see him.
7. Don't waste time. I understand as parents we must work, go to school, and still do chores. Your child is only young once and some things can wait! Make special times in between just to spend time with them, take them to a park, outside, watch a movie, or even just sit down and color. Put your phone on silent and enjoy your child! They will always feel loved and put first, because they are the MOST important people in your lives!
8. Yes you are going to lose a lot of friends. Some you've had for years and have always had your back. They will not understand until they've had kids of their own. Its okay let them go, and do not blame them. Your life is completely different and it is not fair to hold them back, it wasn't their choice only yours. Surround yourself with fellow young moms with kids. They are the best for advice and to even to complain/ rant to, plus its great to socialize your kids as early as possible! Your child is and always will be your best friend and that's more then you'll ever need!
9. It is okay to ask for help! It takes a village to raise a child no matter what age. However, your parents more then likely raised their kids, nor did they ask you to have 1. So on that note don't dump your kid on Them every second of every day. Ask them to watch them when you only have to. My mom is my best friend and i go to her for every piece of advice. Her and my son have the best relationship, and he goes and stays with her once a week so i can have a little time to do the things i need/ want to. Don't abuse them, but most parents are always there to help when needed. Also make sure to ask your doctors lots of questions. Write down everything you'd like to know and at checkups ask them, its what their for. Also listen to others advice, but you can always tell people to back off as well. They are your kids and only you know whats best for them.
10. Last but not least LOVE YOUR CHILD, and make sure they feel it! Be crazy and silly with them. Tell them every chance you get no matter how old they get. Hug them and kiss them, there is never too much loving. Get on the floor and play with them, and tickle them till they cry! crawl in their tiny bed (as long as it will hold you) and read to them, snuggle with them, and every once in awhile let them fall asleep in your bed watching their favorite movie. A child's smile, laugh is the best thing in the whole world! Make sure they do this often! Love is the only way to ensure your child will grow up with some humanity.
Thanks for reading, and i hope I've given some good advice. I've learned only through my son and he still teaches me something new about life and myself daily. If you read this and disagree with me I'm sorry, but more then likely your not a young mom so you just don't get it, or maybe I'm wrong. Don't live your life by guidelines do your own thing it worked for me :-)
-Jessica ocker age 21, son Peyton austin age 28 months (2)